Friends make BBQ dinner for 8 people but invite 12 over, expect 4 of them to consume the scraps after they've eaten: 'It was awkward because we were actually starving'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 9, 2024 6:00 PM EST

The thing about making social plans is that they are always subject to change, especially if they involve a lot of people. Being a good host or even just a good friend is a matter of adapting to this, within reason. This is especially true if you're expecting guests: unless somebody does something awful, shouldn't you try to give everybody coming to your home the same treatment? 

This isn't what one woman experienced when she met her now ex-boyfriend's friends for the first time. He invited her as a plus one for a pre drinks and barbeque, but when they got there the hosts informed them that despite there being twelve guests, they had only cooked for eight. They ate without the four extra guests and then told them to have the leftovers. The internet agreed with the woman that this was strange behavior. If you don't want to be hospitable, don't let that many people come over.

 

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    Cheezburger Image 10425499904
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.


     

  • 02
    AskAubry ❤❤ @ask_aubry This is just weird.
    via ask_aubry
  • 03
    AITA for declining leftover food at my bfs friends bbq after the group ate first right in front of us? Not the Tell me your thoughts on if this was ride: I (37F) met my (now ex 38M) exes friends for the first time. at a pre-drink/bbq he invited me to join him on. They seemed nice enough, but prior to getting there my ex said that his friend msgd and said the host feels bad bc they are having a bbq and there may not be enough food for everyone, so if we see food lying around to not feel bad about
    via ask_aubry
  • 04
    When the meal was done, the host got up and said "guys, please help yourself!" to the leftovers lol. I know people are all raised differently, but this struck me as so odd. My ex went and got some food on a plate and said "come eat" and for some reason, I just couldnt get myself to do it. I dont even know these people and it was so uncomfortable. I politely said, no thank you! And carried on my conversation. WELL my ex was so bothered by this reaction from me, it ruined the whole evening for him
    via ask_aubry
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    Supertanskiii @supertanskiii. 18h Replying to @ask_aubry What the ? How could they sit there and eat at a SIT DOWN DINNER knowing others weren't going to eat then just offer their leftovers? That's horrifyingly awkward and r de. I'm from England, I'd have ran away as soon as they sat down. It's not normal.
    via supertankskiiii
  • 06
    Dan Steiger @RealFrozz - 22h Replying to @ask_aubry As a Canadian, I get her point about hosts offering food. I would offer my guests real food, if possible. If there's not enough to go around, and I was informed they had other arrangements for food, I don't think I could feel bad, but at least they offered something!
    via RealFrozz
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    Lori @lorimakesquilts 22h Replying to @ask_aubry • That whole story is so bizarre. I definitely would have anything to do with those people ever again. Their rudeness is astronomical.
    via lorimakesquilts
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    THEE Petty Diva Vote... ❤ @NetskiD Replying to @ask_aubry Follow That whole scenario was weird. Who invites people to watch other people eat??? I wouldn't want to be involved with any of those weirdos.
    via NetskiD
  • 09
    courtenay short n'... ❤ @svviftlet Replying to @ask_aubry Follow the biggest a hole here is the host. if you don't have enough food, either buy more, ask people to bring some, or don't invite more people than you can feed. if they're starving, i can't blame the boyfriend for wanting to eat, but i also don't blame op for refusing scraps after being treated so rudely.
    via svviftlet
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    Nicola Davidson @NicolaMDavidson Replying to @ask_aubry Follow Everything about this is weird. Why did they start eating AFTER the other guests arrived?? And to only offer food once the others had eaten is SUPER weird, like here you go, peasants, now the lords and ladies have had their fill. Yikes. Glad the bf is an ex.
    via NicolaMDavidson
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    Freydis @Freydis Ulfsdotr 22h Replying to @ask_aubry The boyfriend did her wrong, but if I were the host I would have found a way to include everyone. Surely there's some rolls in the freezer to pop in the oven, throw a cup of bourbon in the sauce to stretch it. Open more crisps.
    via FreydisUlfsdotr
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    Every Child Matters Pednpsy13 @Pednpsy13 • 22h Replying to @ask_aubry So much oddness here. Don't invite people over during dinner if you are not going to invite them to eat. Don't freak out that someone finds this odd.
    via Pednpsy13
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    Livia Sarah Jones @Livia Jones • 21h Replying to @ask_aubry There was obviously enough food for leftovers so they could have made some more veggies and split the food to 12 people. What's next? A birthday where you get to lick people's used plates?
    via LiviaJones
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    When do we start doing... @Rae_209 Replying to @ask_aubry Follow Wait, how on earth would she be the AH for declining food from a dinner she wasn't even invited to participate in? This is nuts and I'm glad they're broken up.
    via Rae_209
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    barely a spec@barely_a_spec - 21h Replying to @ask_aubry Why can't people just eat smaller portions? I made BBQ pork every year for my birthday & every year, everyone ate it before I even got a bite. It became an ongoing "prank.” That's when I broke up with my ex & her greedy AF friends who never brought anything.
    via barely_a_spec
  • 16
    LyndaMagnolia, post-m... @LyndaMagnolia Replying to @ask_aubry Follow VERY. She says she's not villifying the host, but she should be. Above all.
    via LyndaMagnolia
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    • Fames @Famesmaybe 22h Replying to @ask_aubry How kind of them to generously offer the table scraps after they're done eating.
    via Famesmaybe
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    Juliet Bennett Rylah @JBRylah • 21h Replying to @ask_aubry I don't get why anyone would be upset at her saying oh, no, thanks, I've been planning to eat at the festival later on. That seems very normal. Lots of people enjoy festival food and it's not like she was declining their cooking.
    via JBRylah
  • 19
    Tiffany says MVP Harris... @LarelleTiff Replying to @ask_aubry Follow So if I'm reading this correctly, the now ex invited her to a dinner he himself was not initially invited to and told there is no food and the now ex accepted that he and his girlfriend will eat literal scraps afterwards. All bc he didn't wanna pay to take her for a meal. ل TikTok @panda42 kitty
    via LarelleTIff
  • 20
    J. K. @AToddlerTantrum 22h Replying to @ask_aubry I'm uncomfortable for her just reading this. He expected her to eat the leftover food from someone's plate? lololol. what.
    via AToddlerTantrum
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    Parbara Ostings Dr. Cubedreamer @cubedreamer - 22h This behavior is so Yanky my Southern heart just cringed. I can't imagine inviting people and then just making some of them watch the rest eat - that's beyond ride, it's deep into imbecile behavior. You can always whip up extra rice or pasta to stretch the meal, or order out.
    via cubedreamer
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    WOMEN'S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN MIGHT MsFlossiegirl72 @flossiegirl72. 17h Replying to @ask_aubry I would never invite folks over for a bbq or party without having plenty of food for all. I would never sit down and eat while folks stand around and watch.
    via flossiegirl72
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    WWWendy @PrincessWB420.22h Replying to @ask_aubry Everything about this is bonkers. I know of NO CULTURE on Earth where it is ok to eat in front of your hungry guests!!
    via PrincessWB420
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    Elizabeth @KiddoCarson 21h Replying to @ask_aubry This whole thing is weird. Who has a BBQ that doesn't have enough for seconds if not also left overs? Like buy extra beef patties. and throw them on if you need to. If not freeze them.
    via KiddoCarson
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    liking the quiet @BRWinter 21h Replying to @ask_aubry it reads like somehow ex (and two others) kind of wormed their way into a party not. originally intended for them. otherwise host was being pretty r de to have 12 people over and food for 8.
    via BRWinter
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    Aja Raden @AjaRaden • 21h Replying to @ask_aubry I was taught that any amount of something is enough to share.
    via AjaRaden

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boyfriend friendship aita leftovers hosting relationships host food eating reddit thread Reddit bbq
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